The lost art... of blogging

Ok, so the lost art is actually letter writing, then again who is to say that there is only one lost art and do you have to be an artist of some sorts to declare some thing a lost art, I thing not.

So it has been a while since I have written anything, mostly because the major things going on in my life lately were either too hard to write about (i.e. my grandfather dying or even harder my grandmother dying mentally) or the people reading this already knew about it (such as the wedding and trip). So for that last week or so I have had an idea here and there about things I would just like to say or questions I would like to pose to people. Of course being the lazy butt that I am I never actually sat down (is it just me or is there something funny about that) and typed them out. So that is pretty much what this is, any and all of those questions/thoughts I have had over the last few days. Please weigh in where you have an opinion.

First off, it seems like lately everything that happens in my life can in one way or another be brought back to Gilmore girls. It could simple be that I am now watching it for the third time through (thanks to ABC Family and my DVR) the entire serise but still it seems like some major cowinkiedinks (sorry no clue if that is the right way to spell that fake word). For example One day Dad and I are talking about old tv shows that have been turned into movies and Bewitched gets brought up. I hated the movie and Dad thought it was ok. That night I come across an episode where Lori (my short name I will be using for Lorelai) went on and on about her disgust for that movie. Next I am thinking about how hard it has been on mom dealing with Grandma from out of town and how it would make like so much easier if she would have agreed to come here when I watch a last season episode where Anna (I think that's her name, anyway its Luke's daughters mom) starts talking about her mother and how she need to be nearby but felt like it would be cruel to move her away from her home of 40 some odd years. Forget that she was talking about moving Luke's daughter away that he had only been able to see for a year maybe. Ok, ok, I didn't intend to make this really about that show so I will step down off my soapbox for now. Finally it even taught me that it was ok and normal to feel a little weird when suddenly my childhood friends were all about to be married when I myself couldn't imagine being in that stage of my life yet (referencing Rory's reaction when Lane got married). It is all about change and I feel like while the show sometimes over did this area a little it really did show how things change in our lives as we get older.

This make for a nice segway into my next topic or well, thought really. Change. Most of us if we are really honest with ourselves don't really like change. That is not to say that there aren't good changes that we enjoy like finishing school, finding that new relationship, or taking that relationship to the next level and getting married. It is simply to say that when change comes, good or bad, so does some level of stress. While this is not everyone, I personally am a rut person. I like knowing day in day out where I am is where I am going to be. Long before I hit 21 (and I mean like since I was 10) I said I wanted to reach 21 and then just stop aging. Part of this was because for years I had been thought to be older then I really was and apart of me has always feared that I age fast and will now start losing any and all looks I actually have:) and part of that is I knew that with getting older I would face more and more change. Growing up we were all told that with added privileges came added responsibility. For example you get old enough to stay up later you get the responsibility to get yourself up in the morning. You gain the privilege to pick your own clothes when shopping you at times are responsible for paying for them yourself (one that was a major shocker to me the first time). You finally get your license and can drive and all of the sudden you are expected to run errands. Nearly all good comes with a little bad. So back to the point. Change, it comes in many forms but for me one of the biggest changes in my life came when we moved to Indy. Like everything it had its good (to me better weather) but it also left me without a lot. No local friends, no church I felt as comfortable walking into as I do my own home, no clue where I was going to go to school (then again that was true in b-ham too), but mostly just a eminence feeling of stress from the overall change. With exception of family everything had change from when I went to buy groceries to where I slept at night. For a creature of habit I spent several nights crying thinking that I would never get used to things and just be comfortable again. Even now I sit here with a small knot in my throat. The thing is that is more from the memories of how it was then. I now have a since of home here in Indy that I would miss so much if I were to move back to Alabama. It is more then the weather, its those things I once feared. I now know where I am going when I head out to pick up something for dinner, I have a school that feels like I was supposed to go to all along, I will admit I still don't know many people here. I think that is largely do to the fact that I was more outgoing in my younger days and wanted to make lots of friends back then, as I grew up some just stuck and I found that I was comfortable with the ones I had. Now I find it hard to really get that connection that comes from knowing someone as long as you can remember and still wonder at times if I will ever find that. My real point here isn't that though, it is that as some point change becomes a rut. What was once all new has now become familiar and comfortable. So much in fact that when we do go back to bama I feel like I am visiting some unknown land. Part of that is due to all the changes of course but a big part of that is while it will always be a part of me it isn't really home anymore. None of the buildings (including what was once our house) or streets evoke much feeling, just the people that we left behind. The whole time we were down there for Jojie's wedding people kept telling us how we needed to move back. That comment brought the weirdest feeling out, that same fear I felt when I learned we were moving to Indy. I found myself saying things like no, we just need to move you closer to us. I now see what a odd statement that is but it is honestly what I felt. I love my home up here. I finally have the room I always wanted. We live with water behind us which is so cool. We have our paths to store, work, school, restaurants, and church mapped out in our minds and rarely get lost here as we did a couple of times while back in Helena, and Chelsea. So my question, while it is more of a point for you to ponder then a question looking for an answer, is when does a change become a rut?

Ok, so I actually had three things on my mind when I started this but all my rambling has A. made this incredibly long and B. made me forget what the third item was. I am hopeful to do this more often so that I am just posting one of these thoughts at a time. Some are short and simple and other are, well, like these but hopefully all are a least somewhat entertaining.

Much love to ya both