Funny how I always seem to post when I have no clue what to talk about.

All through the week I find myself thinking about things I want to tell people or write about. Only problem is I am normally on the go at the time so I never get them down. Then when I'm sitting up at 3 in the morning (ok, almost 4) with nothing to do but write I can't remember any of it.

I guess the main thing this week has been planing this vacation. I can be honest here, while I am looking forward to it I am also kind of bummed. Originally Dad was supposed to go with mom and I to Bham for the wedding but first we were going to go to the beach early and then come back. Somewhere along the way those plans got scratched and we started a new plan. A trip to Niagara Falls with a little fall foliage tour through New England. Well, me being me, I over planned and before I knew it came up with a 2 week trip with only 10 days and almost twice the budget. So needless to say we are scaling back a bit. 5 days in Niagara and a little leaf looking coming and going. I am still really looking forward to it but deep down I really wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to see Jordan in your new home and spend time at the ocean taking in the memories it brings from growing up. Overall it would have been fun to take that trip with Dad as opposed to just Mom and I again. Still, I am looking forward to this. The falls look amazing and I have learned over the years that nothing is more incredible then having the senses overloaded by Gods creations. I am going to really enjoy this I am just stressed in the mean time. See we have a strange way of planing trips in this house. Dad spouts off things that sound really cool but are way above our current means, Mom gets excited and counts on this and I as the only one with the combined know how and time on my hands get stuck with making it happen. I spent a total of 10 hours sitting in front of the computer the other night planning our big fancy trip only to have Dad end up saying it was too much and Mom getting upset that he took back what he said we could do. After two days of arguing about what to do we have come to a happy compromise but still things are not totally planed. I have officially scratched Travel Agent off my "possible career choices" list. I am so sick of this. One hotel charges for parking but offers free breakfast and internet, another has free parking but no view of the falls (very pricey by the way). We finally agreed on 4 nights at a nice but reasonable hotel and 1 at a really nice place with an incredible view.

Perhaps this one.




Well, what ever happens we will have a great time if everyone can just relax and enjoy it. I need to get myself in the school frame of mind but right now my view is a little distract by the view above.

Hopefully next time I have some thing to write I will be near my computer. I need to get some sleep so I can try to get some work in my room done tomorrow. It is a lot better then it was but soon we will be painting at my curtains have to come down. When then do my room will be exposed to the whole neighborhood. Can't have them thinking I'm a great big slob even if I am. I actually vacuumed the part of the floor that is clear the other day and I just stood there staring at it, it just looked so good. Now if I can just figure out what to do with all the stuff I put on the other half of the room to clear that half I will be in good shape.

Later gators

The lost art... of blogging

Ok, so the lost art is actually letter writing, then again who is to say that there is only one lost art and do you have to be an artist of some sorts to declare some thing a lost art, I thing not.

So it has been a while since I have written anything, mostly because the major things going on in my life lately were either too hard to write about (i.e. my grandfather dying or even harder my grandmother dying mentally) or the people reading this already knew about it (such as the wedding and trip). So for that last week or so I have had an idea here and there about things I would just like to say or questions I would like to pose to people. Of course being the lazy butt that I am I never actually sat down (is it just me or is there something funny about that) and typed them out. So that is pretty much what this is, any and all of those questions/thoughts I have had over the last few days. Please weigh in where you have an opinion.

First off, it seems like lately everything that happens in my life can in one way or another be brought back to Gilmore girls. It could simple be that I am now watching it for the third time through (thanks to ABC Family and my DVR) the entire serise but still it seems like some major cowinkiedinks (sorry no clue if that is the right way to spell that fake word). For example One day Dad and I are talking about old tv shows that have been turned into movies and Bewitched gets brought up. I hated the movie and Dad thought it was ok. That night I come across an episode where Lori (my short name I will be using for Lorelai) went on and on about her disgust for that movie. Next I am thinking about how hard it has been on mom dealing with Grandma from out of town and how it would make like so much easier if she would have agreed to come here when I watch a last season episode where Anna (I think that's her name, anyway its Luke's daughters mom) starts talking about her mother and how she need to be nearby but felt like it would be cruel to move her away from her home of 40 some odd years. Forget that she was talking about moving Luke's daughter away that he had only been able to see for a year maybe. Ok, ok, I didn't intend to make this really about that show so I will step down off my soapbox for now. Finally it even taught me that it was ok and normal to feel a little weird when suddenly my childhood friends were all about to be married when I myself couldn't imagine being in that stage of my life yet (referencing Rory's reaction when Lane got married). It is all about change and I feel like while the show sometimes over did this area a little it really did show how things change in our lives as we get older.

This make for a nice segway into my next topic or well, thought really. Change. Most of us if we are really honest with ourselves don't really like change. That is not to say that there aren't good changes that we enjoy like finishing school, finding that new relationship, or taking that relationship to the next level and getting married. It is simply to say that when change comes, good or bad, so does some level of stress. While this is not everyone, I personally am a rut person. I like knowing day in day out where I am is where I am going to be. Long before I hit 21 (and I mean like since I was 10) I said I wanted to reach 21 and then just stop aging. Part of this was because for years I had been thought to be older then I really was and apart of me has always feared that I age fast and will now start losing any and all looks I actually have:) and part of that is I knew that with getting older I would face more and more change. Growing up we were all told that with added privileges came added responsibility. For example you get old enough to stay up later you get the responsibility to get yourself up in the morning. You gain the privilege to pick your own clothes when shopping you at times are responsible for paying for them yourself (one that was a major shocker to me the first time). You finally get your license and can drive and all of the sudden you are expected to run errands. Nearly all good comes with a little bad. So back to the point. Change, it comes in many forms but for me one of the biggest changes in my life came when we moved to Indy. Like everything it had its good (to me better weather) but it also left me without a lot. No local friends, no church I felt as comfortable walking into as I do my own home, no clue where I was going to go to school (then again that was true in b-ham too), but mostly just a eminence feeling of stress from the overall change. With exception of family everything had change from when I went to buy groceries to where I slept at night. For a creature of habit I spent several nights crying thinking that I would never get used to things and just be comfortable again. Even now I sit here with a small knot in my throat. The thing is that is more from the memories of how it was then. I now have a since of home here in Indy that I would miss so much if I were to move back to Alabama. It is more then the weather, its those things I once feared. I now know where I am going when I head out to pick up something for dinner, I have a school that feels like I was supposed to go to all along, I will admit I still don't know many people here. I think that is largely do to the fact that I was more outgoing in my younger days and wanted to make lots of friends back then, as I grew up some just stuck and I found that I was comfortable with the ones I had. Now I find it hard to really get that connection that comes from knowing someone as long as you can remember and still wonder at times if I will ever find that. My real point here isn't that though, it is that as some point change becomes a rut. What was once all new has now become familiar and comfortable. So much in fact that when we do go back to bama I feel like I am visiting some unknown land. Part of that is due to all the changes of course but a big part of that is while it will always be a part of me it isn't really home anymore. None of the buildings (including what was once our house) or streets evoke much feeling, just the people that we left behind. The whole time we were down there for Jojie's wedding people kept telling us how we needed to move back. That comment brought the weirdest feeling out, that same fear I felt when I learned we were moving to Indy. I found myself saying things like no, we just need to move you closer to us. I now see what a odd statement that is but it is honestly what I felt. I love my home up here. I finally have the room I always wanted. We live with water behind us which is so cool. We have our paths to store, work, school, restaurants, and church mapped out in our minds and rarely get lost here as we did a couple of times while back in Helena, and Chelsea. So my question, while it is more of a point for you to ponder then a question looking for an answer, is when does a change become a rut?

Ok, so I actually had three things on my mind when I started this but all my rambling has A. made this incredibly long and B. made me forget what the third item was. I am hopeful to do this more often so that I am just posting one of these thoughts at a time. Some are short and simple and other are, well, like these but hopefully all are a least somewhat entertaining.

Much love to ya both

Well, the saga continues

Well, the semester's over (thank goodness) and I am very happy with the results of all my test. Last weekend Dad brought me to Champaign and we met up with mom having a nice Mothers day eat out and evening in a hotel. It was a nice get away for her but it was much to little. It has been three weeks now and everyone is exhausted. Mom has been going home more but it still always running between home and the hospital.

So to update you on Grandpa's condition.
The last time I posted I think I said he might be moving to intermediate care. Well, he did. Then after a couple of days there they moved him to Rehab. Things were looking good and he was progressing. Then I got here are that night his fever spiked (102.7) and his breathing got rough. They say they think his Pneumonia came back and started him on antibiotics. Then they put him on something to I guess to help with the fluid in his lungs. After that his blood pressure dropped (a lot) along with his temp. (around 98.2 or so) and they decided they were going to have to move him back to intermediate care. The biggest concern to us that doesn't seem to be that important to the doctor or nurses is his speech. It had been find all this time and now its really slurred a mumbley. I don't know, maybe it is just a side effect of the infection one of then other 30 things that have been going on. It is just hard when you don't know anything and have to go by what they are telling you. I mean we found out that the one medication they put him on is known to lower blood pressure and they waited till his BP was so low and they had to put him back in IMC to finally decide to take him off his high blood pressure meds.

I don't know what is going to happen but right now he is stable again and they are planning to move him back to rehab in a couple of days.

I will post more when I know more.

Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Love to all,
Shae

Ok, so here is that sanity I was talking about.

So I am in a better mood. I know, I shouldn't let other stuff get to me so much. I need to stabilize my mood better.

Anyway lets enjoy it while it on an up shall we.

First of all, grandpa is continuing to improve. His doctor says he should be moving again in a couple of days. I can't remember where mom said they may move him but they might also move him to rehab. I think he is looking at about two weeks of that but right now we are just happy that we are talking rehab and not nursing home or worse. Mom is starting to brake though. She has got to get some rest. I couldn't take keeping up with grandpa and trying to stay on top of grandma too. They have had a couple of tense moments now and then but all and all I guess they are making it. It is looking like I am going to get to have a nice mothers day with mom. Dad will take me to Champaign to meet mom on the Saturday before. Uncle Steve and Aunt Lori are coming in on the Friday before so they will be with grandma and mom even said we might just spend the night in Champaign before we head back. That way she can get some real rest and we can have a little along time before going back in to the lions den.

Well, the reason for my good mood is only been partly explain up to this point. The rest of the reason is that God answers prayers every day, even about things that aren't that important. As you may already know I had a big test coming up. I had made D's on the first two in this class. While if I made a D on this one if would knock my grade down to a B for the class. Not too bad true, I mean that's whey I said it isn't that important. Anyway I had it all figured out and if I aced all the rest of my assignments I would have to get 50 out of 60 points to get my A. This was all figured out before everything happened with grandpa. When that all happened my whole study schedule went out the window. By the time we got back I had a little more then one day to read two and a half chapters and remember everything I read. Dad even said that if I applied myself and worked hard enough to get my A he would give me $100. Great more stress. So I worked my butt off and when the door opened to the classroom I had one chapter left. I had about an hour and it was a short chapter so I decided to go for it. I read as fast as I could and just about made it through, then it happened. Blackboard (the site we take our test through) went down. It stayed that way about 20 min. into class. Mike had already let two students that had finished there lab exams go saying that he didn't think it was coming back up and he would just post it when it did and we could take it at home there by making it an open book test. He took us down half an hour on the time but it still gave us a minute and a half per question. Anyway, when blackboard did come back up he said "oh, good, that means the rest of you can take now". The other girl in the class said what I was thinking, "but that gives the other guys an unfair advantage." Mike just made one of those "life isn't fair" kinds of statements, but it was too late. The girls one comment let loose a rumbling of complaints throughout the room. Everyone wanted to take it at home so after a few seconds of that Mike said "do you all really want to take it at home" and with a synchronicity that would make a nice sounding choir we all said YES!!! He called us weenies but said ok. With that about 30 pounds lifted off my shoulders. I finished my lab (which I aced by the way) got home and got a great nights sleep. Then I got up yesterday and took the test and made a 58, yea. I also got an assignment turned in that I had received an extension on. Thank goodness Gary was so reasonable. Well actually his name is Steve but it is an online class based out of Gary Indiana so somehow he just became Gary. Anyway I still have 3 finals but they won't be so bad. I am so happy to almost be done. I might even be done by Monday and have the whole week to get ready for my next trip.

The only bad thing is the dentist. I went last Thursday, today and I am going back tomorrow, all because I am about to lose insurance. It sucks and I am so tired of going but for now this should be the last visit for some time. I still have two teeth I need to have pulled but I don't care about that right now.

Anyway I have typed myself tired so I am going to bed.
Talk to yall later, love you guys.

So it kind of like the straw the broke the camels back only the straw was made out of lead.

Well, we are back home. I am tired as I get and just want to take a nap but right now I don't think that's an option.

Ok, so first the good news.
Grandpa was doing a lot better when we left yesterday and even sat up in a chair to eat lunch. Today they are moving him out of the ICU to intermediate care which to me is great progress. I don't know what is going to happen next but right now things seem to be moving in the right direction.

Now the rest. Mom is so tired, she has been going home at nights but can't get grandma to go with her. This is particularly bad because she keeps getting lost every time she goes to the bathroom so mom has to go with her to make sure she makes it back ok. Mom keeps saying how she would like to go out and get some real food instead of all these sandwiches and such but without someone there to watch after grandma she doesn't feel like she can be out that long. Meanwhile Uncle Steve has his hands full with all the financial stuff. It's a mess and I don't know how they are going to get it all worked out. At least Grandpa is corporating with him. He has always been very privet with that stuff and we were afraid we were going to have a fight on our hands.

So as for what's going on here, well, I have one day to study for my biggest final of them all which makes me kind of mad because for some unexplained reason Mike is giving his final one week early. I am trying to get this stuff crammed into my head as fast as I can but still have 2 and a half chapters to get through. I hate that I can't take my time and try to really get it but oh well. On top of that I got this veg response to my email from him saying that we would make sure I could finish this class. That is nice but it tells me nothing. What I need is, Hey your under a lot of stress. I will give you an extra week to study and not take anything off. I also have two labs for his class to do yet and they too are do tomorrow. I am so tired and stress and I am trying to get back on my diet and it is making me really crabby. Along with everything else my phone/internet is going in and out on me today and I just don't need that right now. I can't wait till this is all over. I really want to be with mom on mothers day but it is the weekend after my last final and I really didn't want to have to get back there so fast.

Ok, I just needed some vent time. Sorry, I really do appreciate everyone's prayers and support and I know I am blessed I am just having a little trouble ignoring all the crap long enough to see it.

Take care everyone and I will write again after my sanity has returned.

Can we say roller coaster.

Well, so he is doing better again. Today was rough and he still now and again says he wants to to get up but not as forcefully. I could strangle grandma though. I mean at one point he was squirming a little (nothing major) and she asked him if he needed to go potty. ARG, he can't, that is how the whole problem started before, with him wanting to get up and go to the bathroom. I love her and I think she is doing him a lot of good being here but she is hoovering and saying and doing things that are not good for him.

Oh Oh I have to tell you about yesterday. Ok, so he is hooked up to about 30 different machines that all have different buzzers and things that go off for different reasons. One in particular that goes off a lot is attached to a sensor he wears on his ear to measure his blood oxygen level (don't ask me) and the dumb thing keeps falling off. So at first when this happened she would get worried because she didn't know what it was. Then gradually she learned that when it went off a nurse would come in (eventually) push something on his monitor and then clip the thing back on his ear. So yesterday after we got here we are were sitting around the room when it went off. So what does grandma do, she gets up and walks over to his monitor and at first just stares at it. For a while that was all I thought she was going to do. Then, all of the sudden she reaches her hand up and starts to push something. We all stopped her at once and told her she needed to sit. A minute later the nurse came in and did her thing, I thought about saying something but grandma beat me to it. She said "if you just show be what to push I can help you out." I mean come on. What is she thinking. I don't know what to do with her because when the nurse said no you don't touch the monitor that's mine, she just laughed and patted her on the back. Then later on tried to do it again. She is always fiddling with stuff and doesn't seem to understand the importance of everything. For starters the nurse needs to hear that alarm even if it does take her 10 minutes to attend to it and it gets annoying. Second, while it may be just fine to clip that thing back on his ear I would hate myself if I did it wrong and it hurt him in some way. I wish she would just be there and stop trying to do everything.

Anyway I need to go. Dad are I are supposed to head back tomorrow and I don't know how early he is going to want to get up.

Thanks for the phone calls guys, I love you and the support has been great. Also don't hesitate to tell me good news. Just because things are kind of crappy here doesn't mean I want things to be crappy for you too, in fact its just the opposite. Hearing the good stuff helps to block out the bad for a little while.
I'll talk to you soon.
Shae

Ok so I lied

As it turns out I do have internet. They have free WIFI here at the hospital.

So just a quick update. Grandpa is still in the ICU but when we got here yesterday things were looking a lot better. The biggest problem was with getting grandma to rest. She had been here for like 36 hours with no sleep. She kept telling people that she wasn't tired but we are worried she is just running on Adrenalin and is going to crash if she doesn't rest. So anyway mom made a deal with her last night and said if she went home with dad and I she (mom)would stay with grandpa. So she agreed and while I'm not sure how much she slept she came home and seemed to be doing ok. Then this morning we got a call from mom. Grandpa was getting agitated wanting to get up and it was causing his breathing to become more rapid so the nurses told him he had to calm down before he got up. From there it never got better. He keeps saying he feels like he needs to use the bathroom but they have checked his bowls and bladder and say both are empty. So I don't know if this stuff is just mental or if something is physically wrong with him. Anyway he has calmed some but I don't know if he can handle the stress of being here. Clearly he has no choice but something needs to change. He is in so much pain from the broken ribs and everything they move him he winces. I just hope if he doesn't recover that he isn't in this state for weeks first. I don't know how long ribs take to heal but that is making everything else harder.

On a personal note I am doing better. I think the stress of getting here and school and everything was my biggest problem but now that I'm here I am glad. Mom, if no one else needed us and it is good that we can be here for her.

I'll let you know more later.

A real short update beforfe I don't have internet anymore

So mom called this morning and said he is doing some better. His fever dropped for 103 down to 99 so that's good. Also his color is coming back and he is more lucid. It sounds like the good is also some for the bad, things like trying to take his mask off and throw his sheets off of him but at least that is a sign that he is improving because he wasn't doing anything before.

I will update here as I have opportunity.

How the heck are you supposed to figure out what to do when you don't know what to do.

Well my world is turning upside down right now.

Mom had to rush to Quincy a couple of days ago because Grandpa fell after having gotten up in the middle of the night. He blacked out (which is believed to have caused the fall not the other way around) and was taken to the hospital. Upon mom's arrival she was told that he might be going home the next day. Well, that didn't happen. Then they got all the test back and was told that he cracked some ribs and had something wrong with his back that I can't remember right now. Ultimately they decided to move him to Physical Therapy for up to a week and until tonight that was the last I had heard.

So, while in the middle of fixing dinner mom calls and tells dad that he had some kind of spell and now it isn't looking good (I hate that term). I don't know exactly what is going on just that his blood oxygen level is way low and that he all but had a stroke. He has been unresponsive and is in the ICU. They have started calling the family in like this is it. The problem is we don't know if this is really it or not. We are planning to drive up there tomorrow but it would be a 6 hour trip. Anything could happen in that time.

Now for the really frustrating part. I have a big final on Tuesday. I don't know how to feel. I want to say nothing is more important then being there but I don't know what is happening and he could live another 2 years for all I know. If I miss this final I will have to retake this class and we are at the very end. I kind of want to wait but as Dad said, if I do and he passes will I be able to live with the guilt. I just don't know what to do, what to think, I just wasn't ready for this now. He was generally healthy. It isn't like he has been suffering for months and it is good that he won't be in pain. This is just a freak thing. Of course as you know I am a major cryer so that is all I have been doing tonight. I am afraid all I would do is sob the whole time I am there if I do go and from the sound of things Grandma has been doing her fair share of that. I love my grandpa and I have great memories of him but I don't know if I want this memory. I feel like I should want to be there but I really don't. I hate myself for feeling that way. I would want my family with me if I were in his place. I just don't know. I just don't...

So anyway that is where I'm at right now. I would greatly appreciate your prayers. I don't have anything specific just pray. I guess for strength more then anything.

I will keep you informed, I have to go write some teachers and see if I can get some leniency.

Love you guys.
Talk to you soon.

When blogs go bad.

We all love the ability to hop online and let everyone know how were are feeling in no time flat. But there is times when waiting till your emotions are in check is best. There is some old saying about how friends don't let friends drink and dial, clearly a spin off of the drink and drive thing but anyway... so while I don't drink there is a similar idea here. When we are super emotional we tend to express more then we otherwise would. That's why when we have a fight we often say something we regret later.

This brings me back to blogging. Mom and I got into it pretty bad last night. I was as mad as I get. I knew I was right and she wouldn't stop getting mad at me. Without going into the details it was pretty frustrating. It got to the point that I left went to my room and shut myself in for the night. I just sat on my bed crying for like an hour. We are so close and fight so little that when we really fight it is really big.

So what does this have to do with a blog. Well, I was totally ready to hop on here and vent talking about how awful she was and how I couldn't stand being in this house (which is a total lie). But better thinking took over and I decided to just go to bed. When I got up this morning I didn't know where things were at. I had tried to talk normally to her three times last night and they all ended badly. With that I was a little uneasy even going to say good morning. After a while I stuck my head out and when she saw me she said good morning like nothing had happened the night before. It took a little big but after a while she apologized for over reacting. I was suddenly very glad I had not publicly trashed her. The truth is things like blogs quite often get us at our worst and aren't always that true. It is important when we are are making things public as we do when we blog that we really think about what we are saying. It can be therapeutic to get things off our chest through writing them down but it can also leave us with regrets that while they maybe able to be deleted were out there none the less.

Well, I do need to get to bed. Mom and I are going shopping tomorrow (we get over things pretty fast most of the time) so I need to get some sleep.
Love to all

Happy Lucky Valentines Day

So this will be a short one because I am already yawning but I just wanted to leave a quicky.

I was talking to mom today and was saying how lucky it was that Valentines day was on Saturday this year so most people could have the whole day off (unless your my dad of course). However I then thought of something, to have the luck of having a Saturday valentines date you have to have a Friday the 13th, a date known for being unlucky. Just kinda interesting to me. That is once you get past the fact that I don't buy into all that crap lol.

Well, I need some sleep, I have a ton of work to do tomarrow and I haven't been doing so well lately, ok, just one test but it really bugs me.

Later

ok, today there might be nothing to say. But we'll see.

I don't know what I am going to end up talking about in this one. I just really want to start blogging more. I feel a little more in touch this way. Not just with everyone else but with me too. I just like to see what I am going to say. I helps give me insight into what is important to me sometimes, then again sometimes it is just my place to vent of complain. That should change, I mean I am not by any means an unhappy person but many would probably think so by reading my blogs. They tend to come when I am in a bad mood or stressed. I use them to reduce stress true but I think they should be about the good stuff too.

So any way I officially have my first test today. Online but still its a test. I am not dreading it, in fact I feel pretty good about it up to this point anyway. We will see once I have actually taken it. All and all now that I finally have all my books in this semester is going pretty good. I can say that because up to this point I haven't had anything real hard to face. That is about to change as I have a test this week, next week, and then at least 3 the week of march 8th. The good thing about this is that while right now I am a little overwhelmed by the upcoming work it does seem to go by fast. I mean there is no way I feel like I am in my fourth week of school but I am. That means it is already 25% over by the end of this week. I like that I like knowing that I made it through up to this point so I only have 3 more of those to go, those being chunks of time. I don't know if I am going to take my last two classes in the fall for try to take them this summer. It seems like I should be able to do it in the summer as it would only be a combined 4 credit hours but then about I have heard nasty things about this SAD (system analysis and design).

So as you may know already we have been getting quite a bit of snow up here. It is frustrating when we have to go somewhere and the roads are bad but when I am home and inside the warm house I love it. I wanted to build a snowman but it was too dry and wouldn't hold together. I also wanted to throw a snow ball at mom but she gave me a look so I didn't lol.

Anyway I am happy to have gotten some snow this winter but I am also kind of ready to see it go being that it happened two weeks in a row on my class day. I had to miss class last week because of it and this week dad took me which was nice. I had to chill for about 3 hours before it started but it gave me lots of time to get my reading done. Now I just have two more chapters this week and then of course all the homework and the test. I hope to get most of that done today so I can relax this weekend. I loved last weekend. Mom and I got up and went to church on Sunday then came home and got dad, went to UNOs for pizza and then came home and slept if off :)
Then we got up and ran out to pick up some things for the super bowl snacks and got home just in time to fix them and enjoy the game. It was a bit of a bummer as we were all hoping for the cards to take it but since that colts weren't in it there wasn't quite the same disappointment when they lost.



Ok, I need to get going but this was fun. I need to remeber to pop over here more. I let you know how the test went and talk to ya later.

The butter makes it better.

So you might remember from my last post that I said I was worried about my tooth hurting now that the decay has been removed exposing the nerve. Well, what's weird is the tooth that was worked on is ok but the one below it on the bottom is hurting. It isn't really horrible but it is a distraction. I have been taking at least one to two doses of IB for the last three days. Tonight I waited a little late to take my second dose and it was really bothering me so I hopped on line and did some looking. I found lots of suggestions for toothaches like oregano flakes, ground cloves, and alcohol (including things like vanilla extract or something) but the only one that I could stand the thought of doing was actually a treat. Peanut Butter!!! It worked!! I mean we aren't talking 100% better but it help a lot. I am hopeful that I wont have to do anything major before my next appointment but we'll see. I just had to share this. I mean I don't know about you guys but I love peanut butter and the fact that it actually helped is great.

So anyway I just wanted to throw this out there, I really need to get some work submitted, see ya later.

YEAAA, today's a snow day!!! Oh wait my class was yesterday:'(

So that just seems to sum up my week so far. And it's only Wednesday.

I have wanted to post a blog for like a month now with everything going on about school but right now I really don't feel like rehashing that stuff. I do however feel like complaining about this week that is starting to really get on my nerves.

Monday-
Knew from the moment I got up this this was not going to be a fun day or anything as I had a dentist appointment to start taking care of my 11 fillings. I wasn't looking forward to it but I was being strong and going to get it over with. I really don't have a big problem with what a lot of people do with the dentist. I don't mind the shots as I can hardly feel them, I can handle the drill and the sound doesn't send me into a panic. Honestly the only part I hate is having to lay back for half an hour and feel like I can't breath. I know that I can breath through my nose and obviously I do or I wouldn't still be here but the whole time I feel like at any minute I am going to choke on my own spit. Also my mouth starts hurting from having it open for so long. Also in many ways I am my own worse enemy in that I let myself get so stressed about the whole thing that it doesn't matter if I went and ended up having no work done I would still leave feeling stressed to the max. This brings me back to this visit in particular. After going through everything and feeling more uncomfortably then in pain the hygienist says I could sit up and the dentist would be back in just a minute to talk about what they found. Here I am thinking we are all done with this one and am patting myself on the back for making it through the first two and suddenly with those words I realize something ain't right. Sure enough he comes in and shows me a picture of where they reached nerve and explained that they can't go any further with the drill. That's right, we're talking root canal. It took everything in me not to start crying right there. I had basically just sat through what what as bad as a filling for nothing, well not nothing, to find out it didn't matter and that we were going to have to start all over again with something way worse. Now I personally think I would rather just have them (there is another one right next to it in the same shape and they are in the very back) pulled but who knows if he will even consider that an option. All I know is I went through a really bad day that stopped me from getting any homework done just to get told it wasn't enough.

Tuesday-
Not really a super bad day as days go. That is up until the night came when I was supposed to go to class at 4 and it had been snowing all day. I kept waiting for ivy tech to close like everything else in the area but of course they never did. I finally just wrote my teacher and said that I needed to play it safe and wasn't coming in only to have to drive back in the dark on roads that were even worse after having been snowed on for the last 3 hours. I also said I would just count tonight's lab as one of my drops as I thought we got two throughout the semester. He wrote back and was very understanding. He however didn't point out to me that the drops were on the quizzes that we take at home and had already done. I had to discover my mistake later that night as I reread my syllabus. By then it was too late so I just lost all the points for one of my labs. I still would have had to make the same decision but now I was really mad at the school for not calling it off so that I had to lose the points. Then today I wake up and mom comes in and says that there is like a foot of snow out there. I walk to that back window and sure enough. She then tells me "oh yeah, and Ivy Tech has canceled class". I just look at my school site and sure enough "Ivy Tech Community College-Central Indiana is closed due to inclement weather on Wednesday, January 28th. All campuses are closed and all classes are canceled." Now Why Could They Have Not Done That Yesterday!!! Grrrr. It's day like this I wish we had hurricanes in Indiana. I know this sounds like a weird statement but hear me out. I remember when I was young how it sucked to not get snow days like they did in other parts of the country. Then the ol' blizzard of 93 comes along but by this time I was being home schooled so who cared. After that every time there was a hint of snow the schools would close and the stores would run out of milk, bread, and beer. Now since I have been up here, if there isn't more then 6 inches Ivy Tech WILL NOT CLOSE. And that has to be like a sudden 6, if it takes all day that still isn't good enough. So it got me to thinking about something jess told me about. I think it was last years hurricanes that south wouldn't close for one ever though the city was under a recommended evacuation. I feel like she was smart and left anyway but still this was the dumbest thing I had ever heard. So here is my thinking. If Alabama is so concerned about snow because they never have it then maybe Ivy Tech would finally shut down if we had a hurricane. Of course I wouldn't be able to enjoy it as much if we were surrounded by a foot of water as I can with a foot of snow.
Truth be told in my case it isn't the whole state not reacting to snow, just my stupid school. Like missing one stupid class is going to ruin the whole semester.

So anyway now I have 6 labs and 5 quizzes to get through in order to get caught up because finally all of my books and stuff are in. I am so over 2009 already.

Love you all, I will try to post some pics of the pretty snow with a bit of a prettier mood. I really do love the snow, just not the world that wants to keep turning under it.